From time to time I’m asking myself the same question again – what is happiness and how can I feel it more often?
Since childhood I felt different from the other kids. I started reading at the age of 4 and loved it so much that it stayed one of my most favorite activities for years.
I can’t say I spent little time with friends back in my childhood, but I know that at a certain age I realized that actually the majority of my peers made me feel bored or stressed. Only a small insignificant amount of them energized and motivated me.
Is there something wrong with me?
First reaction to that was – there is something wrong with me! I *must* communicate with other kids, because that’s what the majority of them is doing and seems to be enjoying. I couldn’t say “no” to meetings which wouldn’t make me happy then, because this would require some adult thinking, and we all know how it’s hard to say No to something mainstream, right?
So I was blindly following the crowd and not feeling happy about that. On the other hand, I was becoming more confident that there is something wrong with me.
I didn’t need to be with other people to feel happy
Now, looking back, I understand that I’ve experienced happy moments when I was on my own. The trigger would be either the music I liked, or a nature view, scent or sound, and then I started dreaming about something wonderful, feeling happiness with all my body.
Writing these lines, I also feel happiness. I am on my own, fully aware of myself and the nature outside, and looks like I don’t need anything else to be happy.
I am in no way diminishing the importance of having a relationship with people that matter to you, it’s just that you don’t need to be dependent on their presence to be happy.
Think about the moments when you are feeling happy
Do you need to have other people around to feel happy? What are your own triggers to happiness?
Stop for a moment and recall the last time when you were feeling happy. Where were you, with whom and what were you doing?
Stop wasting your time on something you don’t want to do
Think how often do you follow the crowd in chase of happiness. Doing something that you think you have to do because others think it’s cool? Stop wasting your time! It’s ok to stay at home if others are going partying, and it’s ok to go partying if your partner wants you to stay at home per se. Listen to your own feelings what is right and what is not. Ultimately this is what matters. Otherwise, you’ll just spend time doing something that others want from you, not what you want from your life.
If you want to be happier, do these 5 things:
– stop for a moment
– listen to yourself
– separate your own aspirations with what’s considered cool in a society
– say No to what others are pushing you into, if you don’t want to do it
– do what you want to do, even if others disagree with you
And the sixth thing – don’t be shy to share your own experience in comments below! What makes YOU happy?